3rd wk in

“17 … satisfactory MO amalgam”

I scribbled that down. At least I’m doing something. Something that will take my mind off it. Still cant believe that just happened. I’m jus going to pretend nothing happened and go home and cry. Looking around, other people are still doing their own things, well that’s one less patient for him.

“16…”
Oh yes, I’m scribing for someone.
“Satisfactory PFM crown”

A nurse walked past peeping in checking if everything is going alright. Yea, she was kind. Very empathetic. She was trying to console me when the patient left. I know I was holding back my ‘disappointment’ then. And I said something stupid just to take the attention off me- the lights couldn’t be switched off. Pretending nothing happened, I started tidying my stuff. And she and another nurse started talking to me. Saying how this system is retarded- not that exact word- tutor working non-stop, having more tutors to supervise. And suggest that maybe I call the person back again.

“15-4-3”
“yup?”
“a bridge- abutment, pontic, abutment”

I could have done stuff for him. Like at least a restoration. That sharp edge on his 12, that black 13 root didn’t even got checked. But I cant coz I didn’t get my plans signed off. And the tutor still justified his actions after the event, saying it was 10 mins coz mine wasn’t a priority and if the patient couldn’t even wait, it’s better to leave now rather halfway thru the treatment. Now he’s gone and I can't even do a thing. My patient and I were ‘connecting’ well before that. He was a pomme. Went to war- talked about his tank caught in a firing range, becoming a cook after that, coming to wa, working in a mining site, handling explosives. But then what happened after he went to the toilet? I’m still shocked. From that.

“12 normal”
“sound?”
“that’s the word”

He came back, I went over to sit him down and he said:
“I don’t think I want to wait anymore"
At first I still don’t quite understand what he meant, if I understood him correctly. Then he reached over to take his jacket and umbrella that we’ve said I would remind him to take.
“it’s not your fault” he said to me
“cant you jus wait for a while more? I’ll do a scale and clean, might as well, since you’re here”
“nah mate, don’t bother, have a good life” and he pat on me and started walking off.
“ I'm not coming back so don’t bother calling me” he said before disappearing out the door.
I was left dumbstruck, and nurses started to come over asking happened.

“21..”
“sorry, what was 11”
“sound, 21 satisfactory MO composite”

Maybe I should just concentrate on this instead.