phone

Talked to my mum just now after 3 weeks

It appears that I’m going to kl- due to miscommunication
I’m suppose to buy sth for my grandpa when I go see him in KL
Exchange rate dropped again- to 2.2
My fren’s mum passed away 2 weeks ago after battling for 5-6 yrs
My bro now exercises ‘his rights’ in not doing housechores
My sis is finishing SPM soon and she’s coming over next yr
I’m leaving this place on the 12/13 dec
I’m coming back to this place on the 18th jan
Within which I’ll get my driver’s license

and i jus watched the kite runner...nice

情绪酝酿到暴了才上来
是荷尔蒙失调吧
脑袋空空的 自己喜欢无中生有

人比人 气死人
和他比
比财产 比身世 比生活 比他拥有的
比牙齿 比幽默 比色盲 比酷 比社交圈子
比得没完没了
结果比输了
会恨他 还是远离

原来我不色盲
对颜色还很执著
对颜色看得很清楚
有黄，黑，褐，白

我白色朋友写到：
“Drilling 这门东西 面对的不是偶尔的挫折
而是反复的失败 直到成功为止
这 就费了一年的练习与情绪上的控制
或许 是祂有话想说
难道 是我一直以我学业的成就拟定我的身份、价值
而忘了我是创世者的孩儿这身份
难道 我太依靠自己的能力 相信自己
而不依赖祂
我要反复的提醒自己
it is at those points that we need to depend on him the most; to surrender it all
我学会了 我不是因我成就而存在 这些成就也不是我
我的身份 不会因为我露宿街头 而改变
因为我依然是祂宠爱的那一个”

1030pm 刚打完工
在同样的巴士站下
只是这次 巴士站旁的酒店
举办着我们牙科生一年一度的晚宴
欲上楼拜访 最后还是放弃了
快乐这么近 可是那么远

原来 我犯了那么多滔天大罪
还总是自圆其说
所欲 物质上的享受
所思 色
所求 人比人 比死人
其实都不符游戏规则
要比就和祂比 是比不赢的

接受还是改变 我问了好久
事情的真实性无可否认了
接受了又怎么样 改变的话要怎么样
我选择了逃避

我dirty linens 都摆出来了
Cabinet里的skeleton 也有葬身之地了
这住宅区不愿意容我了
要是人生可以更新
唯有这样作为象征
谢谢大家的支持

不许哭

作词：管启源 作曲：汤小糠

进一步 或 退一步
结局一样是未知数

被羡慕 也被忌妒
当我的手被你握住

想起当初如何被守护
尝尽了甜头也吃过了苦
翻着回忆不断的阅读
我们付出 如此投入

我告诉自己无论如何不许哭
被你放弃不是最痛的输

也许对你温柔的拥抱还有贪图
我应该满足
我非常满足
我已准备觉悟

我告诉自己无论如何不许哭
因为至少我们曾经被祝福

如果留下伤口要微笑着康复

我应该满足
我非常满足

4th of 10 DONE

It has been a custom for me to shout out


I'M



FREEEE..

but this time...wasnt that emotional
no tossing of the 'square hat'
no 3 shouts of 'merdeka'

Tired- 2 hrs of sleep the night before
Now relieved and there's no more cramming to do
Lesson learnt- will explore that some other day
Things to do after this- Heaps

Current state

back is hurting due to back posture when studying

eyes still sting

diarrhoea this morning- went to the toilet 3 times but amazingly healed after the exam(I bet it has sth to do with stress)

starting to panic for my next exam coz I didn’t know there was that much to study until last night when I checked- well good thing I suppose, at least I didn’t stress out that much

tired, exhausted. Let’s see I slept 5 hrs on 16th, 2 on 17th, 4 hrs on 18th, going to sleep 6 hrs (make that 5 now) on 19th, prob 2 hrs on 20th and I will be free….

Internet and msn is bad for me…

Pictures around(yes I was very very bored, tired, to the point of insanity):

Bird's eye view of my table- not like a bird can fly in my room

water bottle, watch, chewie, toilet paper (i had flu, nothing else), lollies

levitating laptop, lamp, lecture lnotes,

if only lecture notes were filled with random photos

my file- change my notes inside after every exam

a white thing...

my beloved lamp which has followed me for 2 yrs...

it was 3 remaning- now 1 left!!!!

yes i pretty much chucked everything onto my bed and then put everything back onto the floor when i need the bed...everyday

energy drinks- no i didnt finish it in one night- balanced it with coffee

starburst...mmmm..sugar...

ice cream.....*drooollllllssssssss........coffee flavour+chocolate-coated almond

I am extremely ‘hardworking’ during exam times ho…coming here everyday…~.~’’’

5/7

下午时分 – 我疯了！曾一时想过宁可学怎么考试时候扮昏倒。
晚饭- 烧鸭饭。苦中的甘（还有咸，卤） :)
深夜- 心情稳定下来了…可能是因为没上msn，没被朋友stress；可能是刚才洗了厕所（明天inspection）; 多半是祂的呵护。
一把鼻涕，一把highlighter。
现在要把past paper 看完，答案念过。
准备睡两小时。起来一杯咖啡，把全部东东在看一遍。
一年worth的东西，三小时匆完...

shoooooooooot

18PG





Again. Tired, mentally.
It’s as if it’s neverending, I can never be ready enough for the exam
Jus when I thought I can take it, one small little detail blew me off.
7 hours straight in Reid library, highlighting pages after pages
Trying to memorise everything that I have to
Procedures after procedures,
Concepts after concepts,
Numbers after numbers,
And I am going to give up on anatomy and material science- and jus pray it wont come up
All this jus to learn the theory of making fake teeth.

And people. I hate people. Homo sapienS
People who jus talk non-stop on the phone trying to share stuff. I need to study.
People who stress out and complain to me. and make me stress out. I need to study.
People who jus talk to me on msn coz we hvn’t talked for long. I would love to but I need to study.
People who ask for my help. I did. But that’s wasting my time, and it may jus backfire this time and people don always appreciate. I need to study.

One more day, one more night
And it’s exam time.
Shud I do an all nighter tonight and tomorrow night?
Considering I’ve been sleeping very little and the body has taken a toll
And I jus got this email reminding me how shit my health is atm- acne vulgaris , liver intoxication, dorsalgia, ..
I hvnt even started on the partials yet and the past papers too. Apparently they kill.
So people are panicking, and words like
F***, S***, die,
screwed, kill, cry,
suddenly came into our dictionary.
AND we lived happily ever after.

conjuntions

Had a long rest after exam which was ok coz luckily I manage to cram (ok fine ‘RECAP’) ALL 24 lectures in 2 hrs just before exams which got me late for exams but it was still ok coz I don’t think they really care as long as u got enough time to finish and there WAS more than enough time coz ppl started leaving after 1.5 hr when the whole exam was meant to be 3 hrs jus like my next exam on Monday which I hv no clue whatsoever and it freakin involves a lot of memorizing- the whole year’s worth of lectures which would be fine if the lectures given was understandable, straightforward, INFORMATION-CONTAINING but noooo..the lecturer jus went on whatever he liked, jumping around topics (‘in retrospect’ and ‘leading to’) talking about nothing and he expects us to know everything he knows by reading the book he asked us to read which is quite shit as well coz like my fren said ‘is all over the place and talks about nothing-jus like the lecturer’ so the book has been there since the beginning of the year collecting dust and it will continue to collect dust throughout this weekend coz I m not going to read that freakin book but instead read the 3 compilations of notes that obtained from 3 different upper yr sources(yes ppl area kind enough to do that and I m recording now all the papers we’re hving coz we don’t GET past yr papers, like wtf) totaling 200 pages? (ok fine I’m exaggerating, so sue me) and I hv to memorise everything single detail on how to make a fake denture which I SUPPOSE will help next yr when we actually start making them on real patients and it’s going to be freaky coz it’s like REAL~ but anway..dont want to think about it now, got more important things to stress like when am I going to go back end of this yr coz, yes, I hvnt book my ticket to go back and I cant now since I’m hving exams and going all the way to the city to book it is an utter waste of time which i can utilize to study and speaking of which mayb I shud stop here and go sleep and wake up early tmr morning to do some studying for the next 3 days…
*gasp air*

我只想闭上眼睛 5 分钟也好
看完6 个lecture 就可以休息了 可是这几个lecture至少也有50页 而且全部都是要背的
明天醒来还要把全部在看一边 因为真的是不记得
周末-也没得休息 因为还要赶另一张考卷
刘力杨的《靠不靠谱》 不知道听了几次了
因为喜欢副歌的部分 因为没新歌听 因为旧歌听厌了
最后两瓶鸡精 明天一瓶 拜一一瓶 家里带来的一盒就这样完了

我不知道 我不知道 我不知道
我很累 眼睛很‘刺’
对自己很失望 自己ego放弃了id
我不想睡 睡了时间就没了
明天的试卷是最简单的其中一张 可是为什么我还那么stress 不是我一个罢了
还有好多好多要念的 又超无聊（关于怎样做research）念又念不进
真的很想放弃就算了 可是不可以不pass
开始饿了 可是最近好像饿惯了 酸了一下就没事了
我真的要睡了 很烦

--

结果睡了四个小时 起来是还狂k书
考试还好 不太难 多靠上天
下午睡了四小时弥补

Few things,

Perth International Festival brochure is out- go grab it- at ur nearest news agency for free!
There’s a few interesting (and free) event happening next yr…

Exams- first one done. Not too bad I reckon. It’s worth like 16% but it’s a barrier exam (as in you hv to pass to pass the unit to pass the yr).

Kiwi- I theorise?/postulate?/hypothesise? the part furthest from the stalk where it joins the tree (or is it bush) is the sweetest. So how would you make it all sweet.
1. eliminate the stalk. Smart but impossible. FAIL
2. it will be good if the fruit can rotate while it’s growing. Not smart and not possible. FAIL
3. if all fail, jus share (the sour part) with someone…

Ferrero Rocher- Don’t even know why it’s so freakin expensive. It’s not even that nice. Even kit-kat is nicer. I think it’s because people give it as a present coz it looks classier. And since it looks classier and is in demand and it has established a brand, it’s more ex. I bet one day when people stop buying them, the price will go down. Same goes for other branded stuff eg THAT mp3 player, THAT game console, THAT hand bag, THAT car….

SPM- a distant past- which has nothing to do in my life, like, anymore…but we were all worrying about it and stuff, trying to get super good result. Well I suppose you need those super good results to go somewhere, but I mean…errr…ok, I don’t know what I’m saying. Anyway, my sis taking it..wohoo..lol..

Yasmin- cant wait to go back and watch all her movies- Sepet, Gubra, Mukhsin, Muallaf (jus released in s’pore) and Talenttime(jus finish shooting)… having gotten so many awards world-wide...and she has a nice blog

Quite obvious I’m procrastinating here…

No wonder they say in third yr u’ll start to hate everyone in your year. JUS because i) u’ve seen them enough ii) they know how to get onto ur nerves when they need to iii) they know you too well to care how you think…

CC

I was reading the newspaper just now, and I saw a news report on Canning College’s International Student Graduation Ceremony. Man, that was ages ago. What 3 years already? Ok. Two. But yea, seemed so long ago.Our year has definitely started something new by having the graduation dinner at Hilton. A google search (a cat must have died somewhere at the same time) found a few blogs with photos of the ceremony and a video on youtube. It was just like ours, all the emotions, the photo taking sessions, the ‘lecturer-appreciation’ speeches, the performances, the awards. It wasn’t too long ago, that we graduated from that place. And now there’s ‘juniors’ whom we don’t even know going to join us in uni. Seemed so distant aye…

I was going to write about my year there, but nah…it’ll take forever, and I got more important things at hand i.e. exams. Maybe some other time, when I’m inspired again…

One more day till exams…panic+nervous-ness+fear+worry+adrenaline rush+stress starting to resurface after much suppression for the past few days… might jus break the seal..lol

Feel so weird typing in English again…

tHank yOu's to all, for everything....:):):):):):):):):):):)):):):)):):)

妈，生（我）日快乐！
原本不想‘致词’的。。。
前夕
唐禹哲的歌陪着我 在library
图书馆外 小组的‘惊喜’celebration 超棒的巧克力蛋糕 很好的朋友们 大牙齿的生日卡
图书馆里 朋友给的祝福 女儿的生日卡
一路骑脚车 背包里载满幸福
回到家 手机的短讯 facebook上的祝福 msn的问候 近的远的
我study week故意空了明天 可以好好庆祝 （也是万一念不完 有extra day 可以用）
今晚梦一定甜

当天
一早醒来 （其实也让自己赖到十点） 屋友送一盒forrero rocher 感愧交集
午餐 和同年同月同日生的朋友 （只差不同医院） 去了韩国餐馆
晚餐 和一班朋友 all of whom I’ve hvnt met for soooooooo long (ranging from 2 weeks to half a year or more )
The candy bag chicken-rice cake candle corny-ness camera-flashes car-rides and the great company

后序
一生只有一次20 （废话） 很高兴这次能过得那么愉快 因为也完全没碰到书
想起来 有点像塞翁失马
以前还认为挺可悲的 不再会有心情庆祝
现在觉得 是百忙中赐的快乐 是一个 ‘安息日’

感动 感激 感谢 感慨

untitled

prac result was out...my hands were actually trembling when i went to check my result(after being persuaded much)...4 pass and 2 resubmits. not the best but still good considering i thought i might hv failed...

i am very happy with my result-grateful actually, lucky. but some people were jus pissed(even they got the same result as me)- complaining how they are one pass short to pass the unit, and now having to come back and redo the exams again. and when i tried to talk to some who didnt quite do well, i ended up being cut by them -the 'oh-u-are-so-pro-u-can-say-watever-u-like' talk.

that sucked

and talking to one person who has passed all 6 and one who failed 2 on msn at the same time wsa dumb- it's like u're typing happily one moment and feeling sad the next

exam is this sat- so freakin near- and i dont think i'm even prepared for it...

and i'm tired

我在浪费时间

感觉上有点在孤军作战 ~_~

原来上网可以上瘾的 :

~中午上网查了怎么去掉衣服上的茶迹（用柠檬水/醋）@.@

~之前发现我杰伦的专辑曲名完全不对 早知道不要那么快下 况且也并不是很好听 >.<

~刚才狂下歌 部落格看见人家提起什么歌 我都下 现在平均五分钟有首新歌听 :0

~喜欢这部落格的feel 还赢了什么大马中文最生活化部落格 :)

怎么办 倒数一星期 平均一天要温习一个unit T.T

明天8 to 5待在med library aza aza fighting~~